Monday, January 05, 2009

Losing my cool

Growing up there were a lot of times that my father and I butted heads, being a teenager I didn't agree with a lot of his rules. I distinctly remember a time when he made me mad that I threw something precious of his (case of beer) out the back door and into the snowbank, he then turned around and threw my stereo out the back door and into the snowbank. Being the father, he usually won the battles. Anyone who knows my dad knows that he's got a bit of a temper, and although I'm sure he doesn't lose it as much as he use to, I'm sure that vein in the side of his head still makes an appearance now and then.

Recently, now being the parent of a toddler, I've learned that one thing that I've got from my father, besides the vein in the side of my head, is somewhat of a temper. And lately Mr. Jordan has been testing that temper and knowing when to plug his ears as I yell at him. And poor Darric is slowly learning more and more about my temper, especially when he forgets to call me all day and in fact he forgot his cell phone at home and he's way down at then other end of the state and hello did you forget that I'm carrying your child, oops, there goes your phone out in the snowbank.

Now, I would never, ever, ever hurt my child or my husband out of anger. I'm more of a throw things out the back door kind of girl rather then smack my hand against something, but if you were to ask me if there was one thing I could change about myself it would be to have more patience with the men in my life. Every time I yell at one of them, rather it be for not eating their supper, or not calling me all day, or just simply blocking me out(which both of them do wouldn't ya know), and I get that look from them like they're looking at grizzly bear roaring at their pray, I immediately want to hit the Ctrl-Z key and replay the whole situation. But I think what keeps me doing it is because I know I'm bringing them to realization. I bet Darric won't be forgetting to call me for awhile huh. I do worry that I'm making the wrong impression for Jordan though. I don't want him to be that kid that flips out when he doesn't get his way, even though that's a lot of kids rather they have moms like me or not. I also don't want to be that Mom that has her kids walk all over her.

I try to watch other moms and how they handle their kids and I also pay close attention to Jordan's teacher and how she handles 10 kids all at once and I think the key is to raise your voice every once in a great while, just to remind them who's in charge, but if it gets too regular then the flip out doesn't seem so flippy, (if that makes any sense at all.)
And also to remind myself that throwing things out in the snow only gives you broken electronics.


Maine Mom said...

I can relate to having a temper! I feel so guilty after yelling at my kids and I feel like crap. I have a lot of patience, but watch out when it runs out! Controlling my anger is something I need to work on, too.

We had to cut back on Christmas, too. Actually, we didn't buy anyone anything for Christmas because there was no money to spend. I felt bad, but I think a lot of people are struggling financially and cut back during Christmas in some way. At least you were able to give Jordan a great Christmas. :-)

You are looking great! How do you stay so thin???

leigh said...

passive aggressiveness always worked in my family. just make them feel guilty about something. :) hope things are going well!