Nearing the End

So here I am 9 months pregnant with Jordan...

And here I am 9 months pregnant now...

Besides my hair being longer and my facial expression being more pleasant, I don't think things look that much different. What da ya think?

I can't believe I'm at 39 weeks and almost there. HOLY SHIT, people! I really could go any day now, but I have had no signs. I'm trying to not get my hopes up, as Jordan was 5 days late and I remember how I felt as his due date came and went and the next day came and went and the next day and the next day. I do hope that TK does decide to be nice to me like Jordan was and help me to not make a big scene, in other words I pray my water doesn't break at work or at the grocery store, or rather at any public place. That's been my worst fear lately, every time I walk into Target the first thought isn't "OK, what do I need?" It's "God I hope I don't go into labor in here." I figure though that I can't just stay cooped up at home until it happens, nope, nah-ahh.

You know that feeling you get when you've just almost been in an accident, that pounding heart, oh my lord, holy shit feeling? I've been getting that a lot lately, and sometimes it's out of the blue and I think it's just the fact that I have a 7 pound weight pressing up against my lungs and other times it's when I really get thinking about this whole labor and delivery thing. I mean I know I'm going to have to go through with this, but there's a part of me (the part of me that usually changes it's mind as I'm on the climb of a gigantic roller coaster) that really wants to change my mind...right now. And then I think about starting all over with another newborn, the sleepless nights, the unknown of why the child is crying, the worrying if it's getting enough to eat, the lugging around of the car seat and diaper bad and now I have to worry about a toddler at the same time. What were we thinking????? Then Jordan will run up to me, give me the biggest hug, tell me he loves me and then I remember why. Oh my beloved little baby boy, every thing's about to change, and I'm scared as hell and god I hope it will all be OK for him as well.

I've been trying to pay extra special attention to him lately. He loved helping me put the baby's room together and I knew I should have dug out the video camera as him and Darric put the dresser together, he was using his Handy Manny tools and now there's a handy dandy little dent on the corner, but it's a memory dent. Sometimes the extra special attention gets difficult though when he decides to not listen and throw a tantrum over why I won't let him use the scissors to open up a box. Today at preschool he seemed very down and we sort of blamed it on him getting over this nasty cold that he's had for the last week, but I'm also wondering if it has to do with you know what.

I guess we've all been a little tantrumy lately, I got a weird look from a coworker the other day when I snapped at him over him touching my computer. And I'm sure if you ask Darric he could ramble off tons of stuff that I've given him shit about. He's good for it though. And the pregnancy brain is setting in more now then before. Tonight after filling my water cup, I started walking away and then realized the faucet was still running. D'oh!

So for now I guess I'll just sit back with my pounding heart, my cranky toddler and self, I'll try to stay sane and enjoy this short time I have left of being a mom to one.

Bad Blogger Status Quo

Oh my gosh I haven't posted a blog in a month, can you say bad blogger or what. I knew it had been awhile, but a whole month? I'm so sorry, you probably have so many questions, starting with where the heck have I been? I'll try and answer that and any other questions without making this post a novel.

• Pregnancy Status? - Still pregnant, 2 weeks to go
• How am I feeling? - I get this question daily and my answer is usually "very pregnant." But, for the most part I'm feeling OK, besides the fact that it's uncomfortable to sit, walk, stand, lay down, bend over, all of the above.
• Are we ready? - Yes and No. Yes because I'm so done with feeling so uncomfortable. I want to be able to sleep on my belly, bend over without feeling the urge to fall over, walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded, and eat any one thing without getting heart burn. No because if you saw the baby's room right now, you'd notice that there's no crib set up or changing table set up. There's no clothes hung in the closet and everything that I've gotten from my baby showers are still in their bags and boxes. And if you look in my car there's no baby car seat in there. So baby listen up, please just give me a couple more days.
• Is Jordan excited? - He might be a little bummed when he realizes that the baby isn't going to come out and be ready to play with him, but he can't stop talking about how I will be able to pick him up once the baby is out. He's excited to be a big brother and he knows he's going to have to help out and his plan is to sing 'You are my sunshine' to the baby every night.
• How's the addition? - Although it's not at the state that I wanted it to be at this point, it's definitely taking shape and looking really nice. Walls are up, windows are in, electrical placed and insulation hung. Ceiling should be done this weekend and sheetrock started next week. Because we can't put anything out there yet, the kitchen is acting as a place to eat, store junk and do office work..all at the same time.
• Do we have a boy's name picked out? - No! Thank you all for your suggestions by the way, we're just numb and keep telling people our picks and then get their opinions which make us change our mind, then we think of something different, but the nickname we don't like or it doesn't go with our last name and ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Sorry, that's a little bit of a touchy subject.

Is that it? Did I answer all your questions? Do you feel caught up on my life? Probably not, but you probably don't want to know how many times I actually go pee in a day anyway huh?

As some of you heard, I had to take Darric to the ER last week...twice. He had been having pains under his rib cage for a couple of days and when he finally gave in and called his doctor, because the pains were close to his chest and on his left side she sent him straight to the hospital. They immediately did an EKG and other cardiac test and they all came back normal. Then they tested his gallbladder and spleen and after giving him what is called a G.I. Cocktail, they concluded that he had an ulcer. Because my husband is the most stubborn man in the whole wide world, and can sometimes be the numbest, he didn't go pick up his prescription the next day and I was woken up the next night to bring him back to the hospital. After sitting around for another night, with the winners of the ER, waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting, they gave him another cocktail, diagnosed it as an ulcer (no shit I thought) and sent us on our way. Can't wait to see that bill. He is feeling much better now, says the pain comes and goes but not as intense and I don't really think he's numb, but I do think he's stubborn.

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I will now leave you with pictures of Jordan in his new room, and in his new big boy, twin size bed, which yes brought tears to my eyes putting him in it, and still does 3 nights later.

Oh and by the way, if you're not already you can follow me on twitter and I'll keep you up to date as to when TK (the kid) plans to make an arrival.